Love VS Law

I had a major download into my spirit today after reading Deuteronomy 6 in The Message Bible. I have been feeling a need to read it for sometime but got "caught up" in a reading plan that I kept forgetting to stop and read this particular passage. If you haven't read this passage recently I encourage you to do so before continuing the reading of this blog (at least go get your Bible and read the parts I'm going to refer to).

To set the backdrop, the scriptures leading up to Deuteronomy 6 are about The Law (i.e. 10 Commandments). In chapter 6 we learn the "why" of the commandments. I don't know about you but when someone tells me to do something I will not put in a vested interest without a deeper meaning or explanation. The "why" is important to me. Here are some of my thoughts.

Israel had continued to be disobedient despite all the things God had done for them. They would be good for a while but their "hearts" were not committed to God. They never really left behind their old habits, old desires, old mindsets. They wandered around for 40 years while God patiently taught, corrected and waited on them to fall in love with Him (I know that's a "girlie" way of putting it but isn't that what devotion is?) He wanted them to live FOR Him without a "slave" mentality. However, that's sometimes how we view Him too. "All these rules. All these commandments. If I'm not a slave to one thing…I'm a slave to another." WRONG! Jesus even said, "The first commandment is this: Love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy. And here is the second: Love others as well as you love yourself." Mark 12: 29-31 Why these set of rules? Verse 2 in Deuteronomy 6 states, "this is so you'll live in deep reverence before God lifelong…you, you and your children…living good lives." Not just a surface commitment but a DEEP love, deep passion, deep reverence. One that is not shaken by outward circumstances. One that holds steadfast when temptation knocks on your door. One that relies of God fully.

Verse 3: "Listen obediently." There are two actions here: Listen and Obey. A lot of times we listen without a heart ready to obey. Think on that for a moment. A heart that is devoted is ready to obey. Don't get mad at me yet…I am building on a point (and NO I am not perfect!) Further in the same passage it emphasizes that God had already made provision, they were about to enter "a land abounding in milk and honey" but to live in that fully they (we) would have to listen and obey. It's not that the provision wasn't there but they couldn't attain to the abundance of it all without obedience; they (we) would be self-limiting. Continuing with that thought, verse 4 says, "God is the ONLY God." Do not take up false idols and distract yourself from God's provision. You will only harm yourself. The abundance God has provided will not be fully experienced because your actions, thoughts, wealth and attentions will be drawn elsewhere.

Verse 5: Everything, from the depths of you to the groaning of your soul, must be devoted/desirous of Him. Love Him wildly, passionately, and wholly. Not because He commands it but because YOU DESIRE IT. You have a free will, a choice. It is not love if it is demanded. The chapter then goes on to teach the Israelites how they could keep these thoughts ever before them. Remind yourself daily that God does not require anything from you except love and devotion. He is your God, your one and only God.

Vs 10-12: I love this amazing passage. It is a true mark of God's provision for all of us. He will take care of us. "Houses you didn't buy…wells you didn't dig…orchards you didn't plant…" WOW! Don't forget how you got these things. Not of your own hand, not because you were perfect, not because you followed the Law but merely because you have found favor in God's eyes. Why not devote yourself to the One who loves you so completely?

Vs 20-24: Why? We were slaves….God intervened and got us out. It is not by our power: "We STOOD there and WATCHED as GOD delivered miracle signs, great wonders…" Our own salvation we did NOTHING to earn it. He gave it freely. He did a miraculous wonder and we stood there, enslaved in our sin, and either accepted or denied His provision of freedom. Israelites who went along with the crowd and left their slavery but didn't have a heart change died in the desert because they either rejected or denied the fullness of the gift they had given. It is the same for us. You can confess with your mouth but you must also BELIEVE in your HEART to be saved. Notice that doesn't say brain, it says heart. Mentally it may make sense to believe but your hearts devotion must change. God commanded us so we would live reverently before Him, the One who gives us this good life. Serving God is not about fear of breaking a rule. Yes, sin separates BUT Christ died on the cross to cover all our sins. The "rules" are there to teach us how to love God and others. If our actions are motivated by love of Him and love of our neighbors then we ARE keeping His commands. I am grateful that in my imperfection God has made me righteous through Christ. In that I will live a long and abundant life.


No I do not live by the Law BUT because of the grace He has shown me by delivering me from "slavery" I will reverently obey His ways. It is out of gratefulness my soul submits, not obligation.

Moral of the story: Love Him from the deepest part of you, wildly and without abandon. Develop relationship NOT legalistic religion. He has made provision, step into it and don't be distracted by what the world offers you as a cheap imitation to replace His bounty.

Mother's Day

Sunday will be a day of celebration for many women in the United States. It is a day we remember our mothers. The women who gave of themselves, often selflessly, to see that we were raised to be whatever our hearts wanted to be. Personally, I have a really awesome mom. She is truly my best friend and she is why I have become who I am. I also was gifted a really great mother-in-love as well. Because of their sacrifices and unconditional love my husband and I can raise a new generation of little ones who can achieve all that their heart desires as well. However, my heart is sad today for those who may feel loss this Mother's Day. Yes, many mothers may no longer be with us but I speak specifically of mothers in waiting today. I remember a time, not too far back, that I was waiting to be a mom. Friends my age already were mothers of multiple children while I was still waiting. Mother's Day celebrations were overshadowed by the reminder of what I didn't have. So, this Sunday I will stand with those mothers in waiting. I will not forget the struggle. I will not forget the sorrow or pain. I will lift you up to my Heavenly Father and I encourage you to open your Bible to this passage to say it aloud. This is His promise to you:

Isaiah 54:1-3 (The Message)


Sing, barren woman, who has never had a baby. 
   Fill the air with song, you who've never experienced childbirth!
You're ending up with far more children 
   than all those childbearing women." God says so!
"Clear lots of ground for your tents! 
   Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big!
Use plenty of rope, 
   drive the tent pegs deep.
You're going to need lots of elbow room 
   for your growing family.
You're going to take over whole nations; 
   you're going to resettle abandoned cities.


You may not hold a child in your arms or know what he/she may look like but you carry all your children in your heart. God is faithful.

With all my love,
Mandy
(mother of many nations)

Set up for failure?

**Please note that the opinions shared are general in nature and they are MY opinions. Not all families or people in each subset fit the characteristics I am speaking of**

I have had something pressing on my mind for quite some time and I have been hesitant to share because I know it is a touchy subject with parents. However, I have been thinking back on my grandparent's generation, my parent's, my own and now my child's to determine the legacy I want to leave behind.

Looking back, my grandparents worked the ground from sun up to sundown. Their children worked along side of them toiling and reaping. Parents had very little time to "communicate" with their children on their feelings but spent more time telling them what needed to be done and how to do it. In that there is pros and cons. Children learned hard work pays off. Children may or may not have heard "I love you" and had quiet intimate moments with their parents but they had love being displayed for them by the sacrifices their parents made. In talking with my own mother, I realized that she was never close to her mother like she and I are. Her mother was always busy performing the task at hand, knowing that the kids would take care of themselves. Almost as a response to the lack my parent's generation felt, they began compensating for their losses, in a way, and providing to their children what they never had: love, acceptance and more attentiveness.

My parent's generation are the ones who need to do it all. Their work ethic alone astonishes me. They are loyal and see tasks through to completion (which they learned from their parents). Jobs were seen as more of a way to pay bills, not a life calling. So when the paid job was done it became all about the family. As an asset, technology began flourish which made tasks faster to accomplish so they could spend more time with their families. However, it wasn't so fast that it was obsessed over. Quality time became the banner of how they raised their children. (Of course, I think my parents are perfect and I wish I had the ability to do all that they did.)  We spent more time outside than inside. We took road trips every summer, grew a garden, learned about plants/tress, mowed the grass every Saturday in the summer, had family dinner every night, played board games, put bows in daddy's hair while he took naps on the floor, washed cars together, visited the elderly and attended church every Sunday. Rarely was technology used for entertainment in our house-WE were the entertainment. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I started watching TV religiously. Which brings me to MY generation and the skyrocketing effect of advanced technology.

In my opinion, we also began to compensate but at a detriment to ourselves and our children. As we rapidly began advancing in technology we simultaneously created a hunger for the latest and greatest. It's not just keeping up with the Jones' anymore. It's staying one step ahead of the Jetson's. We work but not always at the level of excellence we should because we are too distracted by the static noise created by our multitasking. We have so much time on our hands that we fill it with "junk" to please ourselves and our indulgences. We have put more emphasis on quantity than quality. We have taught our children that THINGS are more important than people. We can have instant coffee, on demand movies, text instead of talking. We satisfy our needs instantly with a push of a button. We advance in technology in order to have more time but what are we spending that extra time on? More technology and not our children. Yes, I'm guilty and that's why it bothers me. I sometimes text, play a game or Facebook while Kayden plays with his toys or slides at the playground, never really giving him my full attention. My husband may play a game on his phone from time to time waiting for dinner to get ready. If our son wants a particular movie or show we pull up Netfix or use the DVR(before we got rid of it). Then, as parents, we wonder why he is often demanding and cries when he can't have something NOW! Our children melt into tears like it's the end of the world because they have yet to learn what it means to be patient and wait. What lesson are we passing on to our children? They have never seen someone work the land, have 3 jobs to pay bills or even understand that you SAVE your money to get what you want. My point is, all around me I see a generation of kids being raised today without the ability to understand patience or promises. (These concepts are intertwined.) All they know is, "if I ask for it I can have it...right now." Wow! Are we setting them up for failure? What happened to the saying, "good things come to them that wait?" No, I'm not anti-technology and YES there are some instances where technology creates family time, i.e. Skype. I'm not going to build a cabin in the woods without electricity but I am rethinking our approach and use of it in our home. Here's why:

Isaiah 40:31 "But those who WAIT upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
Psalm 37: 34 "WAIT on the Lord, and keep His way, and He shall exalt you to inherit the land"
Isaiah 64:4 "For since the beginning of the world men have not heard nor perceived by the ear, nor has any eye see any God besides You, who acts for the one who WAITS for Him."
and lastly....
Proverbs 4:1-6 "Hear, my children, the instruction of a FATHER, and give ATTENTION to know understanding; for I give you good doctrine...." please look up and read the remainder if you have children.

If I want my children to follow God, even to know that there is a God, I have to teach them patience. Patience to listen. Patience for understanding. Patience to wait on God and His promises. Otherwise, I am failing them as their parent. Our day to day activities teaches our kids the life lessons they need to be successful. Today's kids will grow up looking to God through eyes clouded with our parenting. What is the legacy I am wanting to leave?

Thoughts?

Walking out life lessons

In everything there is a season. Hopefully, for us North Texas folks we are headed into the Spring season. Today, Kayden got down from the breakfast table and asked if we could go for a walk. I put him off at first because I was tired from just having worked three busy days at work. After he asked the 5th time I conceded and put my shoes on. He wanted to head to the park across the street. For most families a walk is a walk, but for Kayden and me it has a special meaning. When Kayden first came home he and I would "walk" every morning at the park. We would spend hours playing, strolling, laughing and getting used to his new life. At first he hated the grass and sand. It was so dissimilar to the cement and tile floors he was use to at the foster home. However, daily we still went back and explored some more. Last spring/summer we did the same. We would walk to the park and he would focus on the ducks, fish or turtles and would have "conversations" in baby talk with me. Today, though similar in many ways to the previous year, was much more rewarding. Now he loves the outdoors, the grass, rocks, sticks and sand. We talk of how the leaves fell off the trees and the grass that was once green is brown, but it will be green again. The lessons we learned today were built off of the foundations of years past. He and I both learned some valuable lessons today.

As we meandered through the park we watched people riding bikes, playing basketball and some walking their dogs. Kayden (Mr. Personality) says "hi" to everyone and wants to pet every dog. This child knows NO fear. We were about half way around the big pond and a car pulls up into a parking space with dogs yapping. Kayden just smiled. A gentleman stepped out and a little terrier came with him on a leash. He walked around to the passenger side and let out his wife, who had a large Scotty with her, also on a leash. However, the Scotty got loose and barked loudly racing towards Kayden. For a moment, I didn't know what to do. I was scared that the dog might knock Kayden into the cold water of the pond OR angrily bite him. I couldn't predict the dogs actions. I stood my ground for a minute waiting on the ladies reaction and then I heard her say "NO!!!! Oh NO!" I took that to mean my child could be in danger. I swept Kayden up and over my back in record time sticking my leg out toward the dog. The dog stopped abruptly and sat down quietly. I grabbed his leash with my free hand and gave it back to the owner. At that point I put Kayden back down and he says in his sing song voice, "hey puppy!" The man and woman were so apologetic and I assured them we were fine, but I was so overwhelmed by the whole encounter I turned and started to tear up. This is why: Kayden was given to me on paper but he was gifted to me by God. You never know what is in you until it becomes challenged. I always worried if I would be a good mother when it came down to crunch time. Yes, I know I am a good mom but I needed to KNOW deep inside I was a good mom. I walked away thinking, "yes, I would give my life (or right leg in this case) for my child." Kayden had no idea what thoughts were swirling through my head. He was on to the ducks again. As we started walking back home a sudden song came to mind and I sang aloud, "Jesus, Jesus (and Kayden starts singing along "Jee-dus, Jee-dus...) how I trust you, how I've proved you o'er and o'er. Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus. Oh for grace to trust you more." Kayden says, "mom, what does that mean?" I replied, "We believe that Jesus will take care of us, love us, watch over us..." Kayden interrupts, "help us!" "Yes, baby he helps us. And even when we have times where we think things are bad, He will make them good." Kayden just smiled and said, "Jesus helps us. He's awesome!"

I am ready for this next season. A season where I can teach my child that God watches over us. He gives good gifts to His children and even when things looks dead, there is life deep within.

Transparency in Death

In my line of work I see a lot of death. More than the average American doing their desk job. Death has never been an easy subject for me. I have always struggled with the eventual "end" of things. The thought that something that once was will no longer be; a vapor. Being a believer in Christ has not taken away the difficulty in discussing or even thinking on death. To be honest, I am NOT looking forward to my own demise. However, as another child has been granted their wings this week I have been faced with the thought of death yet again. 

Sitting in church this morning I had a mini-panic attack, which is not normal for me. All my pastor said was, "heaven and earth will pass away…" I heard nothing after that. My mind began swirling about the child who had been wheeled away in drop down stretcher with a nice quilt laying over the top. Thoughts of "I don't want to die, I don't want to be no more, I don't want to be gone without a trace" began to repeat over and over in my head. I had to force myself to walk out of the sanctuary and out into the hallway to change my thought process and focus on positive things. I even stopped by Kayden's class to peer into the window and watch him play. In my lifetime I have had probably 5 instances where this has happened. I remember it happening when I was little and I was concerned over losing my parents. I remember it happening when I was a teenager and lost my grandfather. I remember it occurred when I was driving back home from college and I thought my other grandfather would never see me marry. It happened right after I got married, while laying down to go to sleep and it happened today. Every time, it is short lived, but it happens. Why? I don't really know. Today, I think it had a lot to do with my unprocessed emotions from the week and the fact that over the holidays I was so busy that my time in the Word got shoved to the side. Admittedly, I have not been reading my Bible as I should and that is where the promises of God are. So today, I have spent time reading, praying and thinking on His promises. I decided to read 1 John 3-5 and have a good ole fashioned cry. 

Here are the nuggets I took from my reading today (not all are relative to this thought process, but good none the less):

Little children, let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them, and show it by our actions  1 John 3:18 

We know how much God loves us because we have felt his love and because we believe him when he tells us that he loves us dearly. God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living in him...

We need have no fear of someone who loves us perfectly; his perfect love for us eliminates all dread of what he might do to us. If we are afraid, it is for fear of what he might do to us, and shows that we are not fully convinced that he really loves us. 1 John 4: 16, 18

And what is it that God has said? That he has given us eternal life, and that this life is in his Son. So whoever has God's Son has life; whoever does not have his Son, does not have life. I have written this to you who believe in the Son of God so that you many know you have eternal life.  1 John 5: 11-13

But if we have bad consciences and feel that we have done wrong, the Lord will surely feel it even more, for he knows everything we do. 1 John 2: 20 (literal translation, "if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart."

So my confidence is this: God loves me dearly and I believe in Him and His Word. If I am fearful, it is because I am lacking in my faith. However, even though my heart may condemn me for my lack, God is greater than my heart.

As I read these passages of scripture a song came on with the words, "He loves us, oh how He loves us, oh how He loves us, oh how He loves…" When I am fearful or in distress this is the thought that has always pulled me through. Yes, I believe that there is a heaven and that my spirit is eternal. Yes, I believe that my moments here on this earth are numbered but I have nothing to fear for each day is a gift from God. There will come a day when I will abide forever in the presence of a loving God and that thought is glorious.

Announcing: New Adventures

The new year is upon us and with that I am ready to face new adventures. I have grand ideas of what is to come this year. I have written on my heart that this is the year of completion for some things and the opening of a new chapter with others. Our family will be standing firm that what God said would happen... will.

One area that I believe will be completed is the sell of our home. Some of you may know our townhome has been on the market since June 2010. We have been actively trying to sell in order to build a bigger home to accommodate a larger family and ministry. Our vision is to open our home to the orphans and widows of the world. To reach out to the hurting and lost. To place fatherless children into a home with a loving family. In our current living situation, it is feasible but not optimal. We barely have room for more than 2 people to stay overnight much less live. Like I said, we have GRAND ideas. During a Sunday worship service 6 months or so ago the verse from Ps 68:5-6 became hard pressed on me. It reads, "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity..." As I read the scripture these words started pounding in my heart, "The house will be built as a place of refuge for those who need to be shown mercy and love. Who need acceptance and life. It will not be our house but God's (habitation). A house of ministry, a house of love and grace. People who are hurting will be healed. People who are lonely will find family. Women will be shown that they are not discarded but valuable treasures." That is why I am believing for completion this year. There are too many people needing to know what family is, what unconditional love is, what a home is. Also, I believe that we will be opening a new door for adoption soon. My heart is burning and fully committed to welcoming another little Ethiopian into our family. However, we cannot in good faith start that journey until we settle affairs with the house. Which brings me to my next adventure.

Though maybe hasty I have decided that I am going to start offering photography sessions to individuals and families on a donation basis. It all started as a hobby 2 years ago and has turned into an obsession. I am by no means trained, certified or claiming to be the best. I am an amateur photographer who is somewhat of a perfectionist and will not give you a shabby product. Here is my plea: If you allow me to take your picture, I will provide you with original and finished copies of your images on a CD. I can make prints but would prefer not to do that at this time.The donation that you give will go straight to adoption. Since we are not currently in the process of adoption, the plan is to give 50% to someone individually that we know is adopting or via our church's Zoe Foundation, and the other 50% will go into a savings account for our future adoption needs. Now please know, this is all new to me. By no means I have worked out all the details. So let me say again, I have GRAND ideas for what this year holds.


So here we go....full swing ahead. Let's set our sights high and see what God can do.


Sample photos: