**Please note that the opinions shared are general in nature and they are MY opinions. Not all families or people in each subset fit the characteristics I am speaking of**
I have had something pressing on my mind for quite some time and I have been hesitant to share because I know it is a touchy subject with parents. However, I have been thinking back on my grandparent's generation, my parent's, my own and now my child's to determine the legacy I want to leave behind.
Looking back, my grandparents worked the ground from sun up to sundown. Their children worked along side of them toiling and reaping. Parents had very little time to "communicate" with their children on their feelings but spent more time telling them what needed to be done and how to do it. In that there is pros and cons. Children learned hard work pays off. Children may or may not have heard "I love you" and had quiet intimate moments with their parents but they had love being displayed for them by the sacrifices their parents made. In talking with my own mother, I realized that she was never close to her mother like she and I are. Her mother was always busy performing the task at hand, knowing that the kids would take care of themselves. Almost as a response to the lack my parent's generation felt, they began compensating for their losses, in a way, and providing to their children what they never had: love, acceptance and more attentiveness.
My parent's generation are the ones who need to do it all. Their work ethic alone astonishes me. They are loyal and see tasks through to completion (which they learned from their parents). Jobs were seen as more of a way to pay bills, not a life calling. So when the paid job was done it became all about the family. As an asset, technology began flourish which made tasks faster to accomplish so they could spend more time with their families. However, it wasn't so fast that it was obsessed over. Quality time became the banner of how they raised their children. (Of course, I think my parents are perfect and I wish I had the ability to do all that they did.) We spent more time outside than inside. We took road trips every summer, grew a garden, learned about plants/tress, mowed the grass every Saturday in the summer, had family dinner every night, played board games, put bows in daddy's hair while he took naps on the floor, washed cars together, visited the elderly and attended church every Sunday. Rarely was technology used for entertainment in our house-WE were the entertainment. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I started watching TV religiously. Which brings me to MY generation and the skyrocketing effect of advanced technology.
In my opinion, we also began to compensate but at a detriment to ourselves and our children. As we rapidly began advancing in technology we simultaneously created a hunger for the latest and greatest. It's not just keeping up with the Jones' anymore. It's staying one step ahead of the Jetson's. We work but not always at the level of excellence we should because we are too distracted by the static noise created by our multitasking. We have so much time on our hands that we fill it with "junk" to please ourselves and our indulgences. We have put more emphasis on quantity than quality. We have taught our children that THINGS are more important than people. We can have instant coffee, on demand movies, text instead of talking. We satisfy our needs instantly with a push of a button. We advance in technology in order to have more time but what are we spending that extra time on? More technology and not our children. Yes, I'm guilty and that's why it bothers me. I sometimes text, play a game or Facebook while Kayden plays with his toys or slides at the playground, never really giving him my full attention. My husband may play a game on his phone from time to time waiting for dinner to get ready. If our son wants a particular movie or show we pull up Netfix or use the DVR(before we got rid of it). Then, as parents, we wonder why he is often demanding and cries when he can't have something NOW! Our children melt into tears like it's the end of the world because they have yet to learn what it means to be patient and wait. What lesson are we passing on to our children? They have never seen someone work the land, have 3 jobs to pay bills or even understand that you SAVE your money to get what you want. My point is, all around me I see a generation of kids being raised today without the ability to understand patience or promises. (These concepts are intertwined.) All they know is, "if I ask for it I can have it...right now." Wow! Are we setting them up for failure? What happened to the saying, "good things come to them that wait?" No, I'm not anti-technology and YES there are some instances where technology creates family time, i.e. Skype. I'm not going to build a cabin in the woods without electricity but I am rethinking our approach and use of it in our home. Here's why:
Isaiah 40:31 "But those who WAIT upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
Psalm 37: 34 "WAIT on the Lord, and keep His way, and He shall exalt you to inherit the land"
Isaiah 64:4 "For since the beginning of the world men have not heard nor perceived by the ear, nor has any eye see any God besides You, who acts for the one who WAITS for Him."
and lastly....
Proverbs 4:1-6 "Hear, my children, the instruction of a FATHER, and give ATTENTION to know understanding; for I give you good doctrine...." please look up and read the remainder if you have children.
If I want my children to follow God, even to know that there is a God, I have to teach them patience. Patience to listen. Patience for understanding. Patience to wait on God and His promises. Otherwise, I am failing them as their parent. Our day to day activities teaches our kids the life lessons they need to be successful. Today's kids will grow up looking to God through eyes clouded with our parenting. What is the legacy I am wanting to leave?
Thoughts?
