Monday, February 14, 2011

Walking out life lessons

In everything there is a season. Hopefully, for us North Texas folks we are headed into the Spring season. Today, Kayden got down from the breakfast table and asked if we could go for a walk. I put him off at first because I was tired from just having worked three busy days at work. After he asked the 5th time I conceded and put my shoes on. He wanted to head to the park across the street. For most families a walk is a walk, but for Kayden and me it has a special meaning. When Kayden first came home he and I would "walk" every morning at the park. We would spend hours playing, strolling, laughing and getting used to his new life. At first he hated the grass and sand. It was so dissimilar to the cement and tile floors he was use to at the foster home. However, daily we still went back and explored some more. Last spring/summer we did the same. We would walk to the park and he would focus on the ducks, fish or turtles and would have "conversations" in baby talk with me. Today, though similar in many ways to the previous year, was much more rewarding. Now he loves the outdoors, the grass, rocks, sticks and sand. We talk of how the leaves fell off the trees and the grass that was once green is brown, but it will be green again. The lessons we learned today were built off of the foundations of years past. He and I both learned some valuable lessons today.

As we meandered through the park we watched people riding bikes, playing basketball and some walking their dogs. Kayden (Mr. Personality) says "hi" to everyone and wants to pet every dog. This child knows NO fear. We were about half way around the big pond and a car pulls up into a parking space with dogs yapping. Kayden just smiled. A gentleman stepped out and a little terrier came with him on a leash. He walked around to the passenger side and let out his wife, who had a large Scotty with her, also on a leash. However, the Scotty got loose and barked loudly racing towards Kayden. For a moment, I didn't know what to do. I was scared that the dog might knock Kayden into the cold water of the pond OR angrily bite him. I couldn't predict the dogs actions. I stood my ground for a minute waiting on the ladies reaction and then I heard her say "NO!!!! Oh NO!" I took that to mean my child could be in danger. I swept Kayden up and over my back in record time sticking my leg out toward the dog. The dog stopped abruptly and sat down quietly. I grabbed his leash with my free hand and gave it back to the owner. At that point I put Kayden back down and he says in his sing song voice, "hey puppy!" The man and woman were so apologetic and I assured them we were fine, but I was so overwhelmed by the whole encounter I turned and started to tear up. This is why: Kayden was given to me on paper but he was gifted to me by God. You never know what is in you until it becomes challenged. I always worried if I would be a good mother when it came down to crunch time. Yes, I know I am a good mom but I needed to KNOW deep inside I was a good mom. I walked away thinking, "yes, I would give my life (or right leg in this case) for my child." Kayden had no idea what thoughts were swirling through my head. He was on to the ducks again. As we started walking back home a sudden song came to mind and I sang aloud, "Jesus, Jesus (and Kayden starts singing along "Jee-dus, Jee-dus...) how I trust you, how I've proved you o'er and o'er. Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus. Oh for grace to trust you more." Kayden says, "mom, what does that mean?" I replied, "We believe that Jesus will take care of us, love us, watch over us..." Kayden interrupts, "help us!" "Yes, baby he helps us. And even when we have times where we think things are bad, He will make them good." Kayden just smiled and said, "Jesus helps us. He's awesome!"

I am ready for this next season. A season where I can teach my child that God watches over us. He gives good gifts to His children and even when things looks dead, there is life deep within.